Nihilism Ate My Triumph

I am addicted to nostalgia.. deeply embedded in it, to an extent where am happier being in the past, than being present. Always, very sad about what is already lost. The intensity of the sadness that I feel for the time gone by, is always a lot more than the very feeble excitement for the present and the ever so absent stir about the future. Motivation and future planning were always weighed down by melancholy and memories. Stuck in the past, I refuse to move forward, not for lack of options, but for lack of spirit. The grief about the past has always overshadowed my motivation for the future! Nihilism ate my triumph!